Blog

saturday evening started with rock… 6 bands from all over delhi coming together to perform and showcase their talent in the “9th Great Indian Rock 2005”. Out of the 6 bands… 3 were from delhi and they were really awesome.. one thing worth mentioning here was.. the 5 band to perform in this GIR, Nakshatra.. the foundation of this band was laid in the basement of my very own college, PGDAV and i remember jamming along and listening to what they played !!!! Sumit was the guy who was the lead guitarist of this band and also the vocalist.. and on sat. he was there playing the leads for the same band… felt really neat when i could see them perform in one of the most sought after rock band competitions !!!!

the GIR was over in the early night and then me and Tushar, moved towards the domestic terminal, Palam Airport. The occasion… Neha was going to Germany in the night… and we were going to drop her…Something that i knew was always going to happen and never wanted to come face to face with it… we had not been able to talk to each other properly for a few days because of her being really busy with her packing and all.. and even at the airport.. i felt so awkward, felt a li’il out of place coz she was there with her family and i was more of an outsider…
she was going to go.. and i could feel that pain inside me already…of having a friend go away… of not having someone who i could just visit whenever i want…and things that cannot be put into words… i was there just looking at her and the conversations going on between her and the family and also managed to sneak in a few words myself when needed…

finally not before long, the time for her to go was right there greeting us with the devilish smile… and there was nothing that we all could do… i had to let go… shook her hand.. wished her.. and kept looking at her going with she waving to all her family members and me…. she went inside the airport and i kept looking till she vanished in that large sea of ppl who were going to some place or the other…

the feeling while coming back was very awkward… i could feel the hollow inside me… a friend had gone today.. things would change.. life would change…and ofcourse still continue… she would reach germany and start with her confenrence..and after a month to Paris and start with her research.. get busy in her work and and make me proud with all the amazing work she’z gonna do…

after i woke up in the afternoon .. i was feeling really miserable…the heart was really really heavy… i knew she was not where she used to be one day before and that feeling was almost killing me…the entire time we managed to spend together in the past few months flashed in front of my eyes.. and could smile… but the hollow was there… it made me really really sad…
in the evening i tried calling her up at her hotel…could not get thru the first time…and then talked to the security team of her hotel who could not transfer my call to her room and then spent some time listening to the IVR in God knows how many languages before i hung up the next two times i called…

finally managed to talk to her around 2130 my time.. anf was really calm after that.. infact happy to hear the voice of one of my best friends…and happy that she was fit and fine there… i am happy for her.. and i hope she does really well.. she has a presentation tmrw and i am sure she is going to do that very nicely…

Thank you God for giving me the pleasure of such great friends…

and pawan really helped me get back to normal while i was feeling miserable during all this.. thanks pawan…and tushar helped me and her folks out with the number of the hotel room.. thanks tushar…

God bless us all….

i really wanted to write something today.. but there is no flow of thoughts… and if there is any.. it really is not making any sense… have deleted two cpmplete paragraphs after writing…

maybe i am not in a state to share the state of ma’ mind !!!! needs a li’il regathering of thoughts…

I have always thought about expectations and how they make you weak.. how they make you loose control over yourself as a person.. how easily they make you like someone or get angry when that someone does not meet some of your expectations…

its strange how even after I knowing everything and probably understanding most of it get into the trap of expectations…were the lessons learnt last year not good enough for me or what…

today prashant is angry with himself… and he promises himself YET AGAIN… that he is going to improve as a human being…as a person… easier said then done… human after all a human… can’t really fight nature.. can i…

Motivation… different times.. different sources… this one came from one of my dear friends Aseem… in an email.. made a lot of sense so thought of pasting it here.. instead of emailing it to everyone in the address book…

Five steps to staying positive in a negative world:

1. Understand that failure is an event, it is not a person. Yesterday ended last night; today is a brand new day, and it’s yours. You were born to win, but to be a winner you must plan to win,prepare to win, and then you can expect to win.



2. Become a lifetime student. Learn just one new word everyday and in five years you will be able to talk with just about anybody about anything. When your vocabulary improves, your I.Q. goes up 100% of the time, according to Georgetown Medical School.



3. Read something informational or inspirational every day. Reading for 20 minutes at just 240 words per minute will enable you to read 20, 200-page books each year. That’s 18 more than the average person reads! What an enormous competitive advantage . . . if you’ll just read for 20 minutes a day.



4. The University of Southern California reveals that you can acquire the equivalent of two years of a college education in three years just by listening to motivational and educational cassettes on the way to your job and again on the way home. What could be easier?



5. Start the day and end the day with positive input into your mind. Inspirational messages cause the brain to flood with feel-good-about-yourself neurotransmitter. Begin and end the day by reading or doing something positive!

Dunno if this brings a change in the life of people who read this.. but its making sense to me.. how well i put this into practise is something that time will tell.. coz i have that real bad laid back attitude.. andi have to do something to fix that.. any suggestions on how i improve this about myself..

Two days, 48 hours… how do they go by you… just can’t realise… anyway…there was some activity that happened in the last two days…

Saturday spent with Neha and Tushar again…Seems that my entire life is revolving around these two people these days 🙂 anyway… we went to Nehru place to get our computers fixed and also buy some stuff… bought two web cams, 50 CDRs, 2 CDRWs, 1 CD case, and one brand new computer… though that was taken home by sushant…he was there with his sister and jijaji to buy a machine…

We spent a good 4 hours at the shop in Nehru place while the machines were being repaired and a new one being assembled…and then went to neha’s place to install the two web cams that we had bought…and somehow messed up with her NIC settings and she could not connect to the net anymore with her desktop…hehehehe.. Anyway… we left in the evening… tushar dropped me home…and then rushed to his place to get ready for office…

Yesterday…

Sunday was a less active day… spent most of the time in front of my desktop yesterday…copying CDs, downloading music and all…went to the market in the evening to buy the VCD of ICE AGE…one of the animation movies I love to love…

And back again in the office today…another week to go…waiting for Saturday to come over again…so that I can spend another weekend…doing something or the other…but I think I seriously need to think about doing something worthwhile in the weekends…

What can be done? Rather what all would I like to do over a weekend:

~Learn Guitar

~Study (something relevant to my job)

~Meet friends

~Watch a movie

Can’t really figure out… will need help as to what all can be done to make these two days count !!!

And Ladies and Gentlemen this is my CAR… Radha 🙂 The fotograf was clicked in the parking lot of Dilli Haat

this foto becomes special to me for a number of reasons actually…

1) I am there 🙂

2) It has Radha

3) This is her first ever foto on the net

and last but not the least…

This has been clicked by one of the most special friends i have… Thank you Neha for this special and amazing foto.. and do not forget to thank chachi for the camera as well..

please welcome my car… a not so new but still shining Fiat Palio 1.2 NV Sport…mmmmmmmmmmuah to my chamko

We three in Dilli Haat today, Me, Neha and Tushar… The foto was taken in my car 🙂 after we moved from there.. thanks tu Forni the foto has come out real good…

This was a good afternoon spent in the company of two great friends… and ofcourse my radha…

Life is Good 🙂

thank you God 🙂

This is about me and my blog… something that started in September 2004…my first blog… here is what I wrote…

“I would like to trigger a discussion on how life treats us and how it should be treated…when do we take risks in terms of education, jobs, and when is the right time for trying to settle down…when do you think money would drive discussions about changing jobs and when we start looking for a job if we are now looking for a profile change.. maybe more responsibilities.. and so on….”

When I read today.. I am like… what was I thinking when I wrote this… was the entire world waiting for me to start writing or what… 🙂 I am smiling today on what I wrote on the 15th of September…but seems that I have come a long way from there…my need to depend on people for my emotional outbursts has reduced…I feel more independent emotionally now, more stable and also I feel that there are a few friends like Tushar, Pawan, Neha, Aarti, Vimita, Raina and a few more who are reading my blog but I am not aware of would be able to know what I am upto always.. So basically we keep in touch directly or indirectly.

I do not know where each of us is heading…but still I feel that I am doing that li’il which would keep me close to my friends… God bless them all!!!

Now why I really am writing this post… to congratulate myself on complete a 1000 visitors J I am not sure if about 50% of these visits are mine… but still that leaves me with 500 visits to my page J and I am really happy for myself…Actually I am feeling as if I am getting the attention that I always want!!! and thanks to everyone who reaches this page… by mistake or intentionally…spends a minute or more reading what is written…or closes the window…feels like commenting on what I have written…or ignores me thinking that I am one more of those stupid freaks who is completely confused in life…I reached the count of a 1000 visits…What follows is a break of what has been happening on this page since November 17:

Visits:

Total: 1028

Average per Day: 20

Average Visit Length: 4:45

I am happy!!!

Prarthna was the elder of the two daughters at home, which meant she had to be the one taking up more responsibilities, being the one who is following the right path and hence be an example for the younger sister who was about 10 years younger to her. Prarthna was an intelligent student and was very focussed and dedicated towards things she wanted to achieve in life. The restrictions at home, the people around ensured that she stayed back home after school or college or work and spent time doing things, which most of the girls in today’s metropolitan life run and shy away from.

Kabir had been through similar phases in life, but at this point in time was a much more independent person. He had been through his bad phases and good phases of life and these days was enjoying a satisfying bachelor’s life with a good job in hand. But something inside him used to keep pinching him all the time. He had been through a very bad relationship, and had made up his mind not to get into another ever. And at the same point of time knew that he needed someone to share his days with. Kinda confused guy he was about having someone in his life or not.

Utkarsh, on the other hand was a person who was a very good human being and he did not realise that a lot of people like him for what he had with him. He used to be sad about things that he noticed that were not with him. He was working in a good firm with good prospects and was working towards getting better there as well looking for better opportunities these days. Also Utkarsh was a college mate of Kabir. These two guys knew each other for over 4 years now but they had never sat down and discussed themselves or their lives as friends… acquaintances we can say they were…

Kabir met Prarthna through internet; initially they were using only emails. And Emails which were pages long, coz for some reason, both Prarthna and Kabir were pouring out to each other through this channel.

Then one day this happened:

Kabir went to Meerut for a family function where for some reason he had to be connected to the internet and there she was Prarthna, online on a messenger screen…Happy and excited Kabir said a Hi to her to which there was a prompt reply. This was just coincidence that both of them were online at the same time. And this is when Kabir gave her his phone number and asked her to call him up once he was back in Delhi.

She called but the first conversation was on the best conversation they had…Kabir was busy with his work and he did not want to keep the phone down either, Prarthna as usual had a lot of words to share this time too… And then Kabir fell ill… too bad a state he was in, and Prarthna with her phone calls kept him going. He started liking her for her thoughts, and respecting her more then liking her for whatever he was learning about her, and about the a lot of things which was knew existed but had not seen or felt. He became a li’il better and could work on his computer now, which meant that he could talk to Prarthna the entire day through the net which he did…

Utkarsh also came to know Prarthna during this while, from Kabir and started liking her. Infact by this time, both Utkarsh and Kabir were in love with Prarthna, and she was good friend of both of them. Kabir and Utkarsh were getting to be good friends too these days… and with time Prarthna developed emotions (which can be labelled as love towards Kabir)

So basically leaving Kabir happier, and Utkarsh sad again… coz of one more thing that he did not have. A classic love triangle this was becoming. Also Kabir and Utkarsh were able to talk about this situation freely with each other which was the good part, but this left a very hollow feeling with Kabir, as he started thinking would things have been different between Prarthna and Utkarsh if he was not there.

While these three were trying to cope up with their own emotional baggage, Prarthna got a job offer in Australia which she could not miss as she had been working for it for a lot time and finally she got the opportunity. 45 days left for Prarthna to join the firm and 45 days left for this classic love story to turn the way destiny had planned.

Utkarsh wanted to get out of his frame of mind, and move on…which was difficult coz after ages he had really felt for a girl like he was feeling for Prarthna. He was expressive and vocal about his feelings and in a way that wa very hard for any girl to avoid… Kabir on the other hand was a very demanding boyfriend… but he also loved Prarthna a lot and I guess the time that he was able to spend with her, made her get inclined towards him.

Prarthna had to go to Australia in a few days… she loved Kabir and really liked Utkarsh. The feelings were distinct and different. She knew Utkarsh loved her, but she could not love him back…but for what Utkarsh was, he was someone worth loving a lot; this is something that Kabir felt!!! Prarthna was going away…to return in 4 years… Kabir knew that he could not leave the thought of Prarthna, but the reality of life was that he had to let go…

All three of these friends had to let go…Kabir had to let go his love, and he knew that he would have to get married in another year to girl his parents choose for him, Utkarsh had to let go his love too, first because she loved his friend, and then again because she was going away. Prarthna had to let go her love, coz she knew that she had to be out of her country for 3 years, and her contract said that she could not marry before her project finishes.

Kabir would be back to his previous self after Prarthna goes, with a pain inside his heart, and a hollow inside his soul…

Utkarsh would continue living life the way he always left, with fond memories of his love, and the love he could not get…

Prarthna would go away from her family, her friend, her love alone in a country, where she would be doing what she always wanted to…

Is love supposed to leave you like this!!! Who would tell…?

Why is this story Named: TwO gUyS, a GirL, aNd a PizZa pLaCe !!!

B’coz Prarthna, Utkarsh and Kabir, all three of them were together in front of each other only once… In Nirula’s (The pizza Place)