Tag: personal

  • Me the KID, at times like this… and at times different…

    A Friend called me a KID at two different occasions…

    At one, it was probably some affection that was coming my way…

    and at the other… it was probably a question mark on my maturity as a person…

    Its interesting how one word can sound/mean so different at different times… and can make a good amount of sense at both too..

    I don’t like someone questioning my logic or maturity as a person… I give shit loads of people a run for their money when it comes to being practical, logical and a matter of fact guy !!

    And obviously a few people are better than me… which is good… because that way, I can figure out what I can become if I am more logical and practical and all that… thankfully it also lets me figure out if I want to be that practical… I am glad I let a few dreams rule a part of me !!!

    Amen to practicality that makes dreams LIVE !!!

    oh… and that reminds me… I have a few new kids on the block in my camera bag… need to write about them sometime… Thank you God Uncle… you are the beshtesht !!!

  • EXHale…

    For about 2 weeks, I have been thinking of writing why I had a series of unsuccessful relationships in my past, and why I still know how to MESS things up BIG time and why I think I am a misfit when it comes to relationships ЁЯША

    Just that I have not been able to gather enough courage to go public with that amount of truth…

    I should start an anonymous blog !!! or steal someone’s diary and write what I want to in there… or hack someone’s account and post it in their name !!!

    what else can i do?

    Write it on a wall in UK ЁЯША when no one is watching… Graffiti… with the crazy people I know here, it might just sell for millions…

    Make a painting out of my thoughts… again worth some greenies…

    Umm… take pictures and say what i want to say in code… Naah… I make an attempt to take happy pictures or make them look encouraging.. with some exceptions of course !!!

    What else?

    Talk to someone about it? I did… with three friends…

    One took a split second to agree to the fact that I suck !!!

    the other gave me a lot of gyan and tried to pep me up, and partially agreed…

    and the third, made fun of me and applauded at the honest confession !!!

    For some reason, I am not feeling too bad about it… there are good things about me, there are bad ones too… Not being able to handle people I love is one of the BADDEST ones !!!

    Why am i writing about it right now?

    Valid point…

    And I am doing it ,

    Because I think i should take that thought of thinking about writing about thinking about why I suck should be out of my system…

    And because I have been carrying this thought for a long time… years maybe !!! It needs to go out of my system… it need a body wash that can clean things from inside…

    Or maybe I just need to eat at a dhaba, have chai at a road side stall, drive the entire night, have a few paranthas at murthal, honk the horn when i feel like, have a few golgappas till my eyes and nose start running, flip through the useless TV channels, etc etc…

    Ok… so two things now…

    1. No Gyan please ЁЯЩВ take this post into your stride and humor ЁЯЩВ

    2. Read the previous post and help me out !!! not with Fishing Rods and instructions on how to fish, but with some FISH ЁЯЩВ

  • Those Were The Best Days of My Life… so far ЁЯЩВ

    The first memories of being on stage go back to class V or VI when I was a part of the dance team which performed on Boney M’s Its a Holiday… This was my first ever english tape as well.. Boney M’s 18 greatest hits and I still love those tracks…

    Remember practicing during the not so important classes and enjoying it… Vicky was my partner in that song, however I wanted some other girl to dance with me ЁЯЩВ but then, li’il I could do about it… Nice white shirt and the black trousers… I am sure I kept that dress for a while before I moved on…

    and then a lot of years of stage-o-fobia…

    Until one day, when I was in class IX… I had to climb up the stage to fill in for a few people who ditched us in the Independence Day functions… my first stand up comedy stunt ЁЯЩВ it went pretty well for the lifelessness I felt in my legs and the dryness in my throat in those 10 minutes…

    Another few years of stage silence, before it was broken in the form of Mughal’e’Aazam in my first year of college… PGDAV was no great college, but the kind of friends I earned there, the life that I lived there is something that no other place could have given me… I loved those 3 years of my life…

    I still remember that the entire team had practiced on my terrace for a day and by the time we had finished the entire play was changed… We laughed our asses out because of the changes that were made during the entire day… Ankur Wahal had written and directed the play and he was flawless with his work… Today he is a brilliant Corporate Lawyer and no one is going to believe that he once used to rock the stage with his amazing performances…

    His entry in the play on that yellow tricycle… mine with that 8 inch sword and the loose pyjamas… Tushar as the Kaneez… Karan Bindal, our 6 foot tall Laila… and Ankur.. the short Majnu….

    The play was a super hit second year in a row, and that 800 strong audience enjoyed it as much as we did who were on the stage at that time… Ankur and Taru had hosted that year’s Aaghaz…

    I was a part of the Cultural Committee now, and in my second year.. we were looking for people who would join the group… This is when I dragged the freshers Nimisha Bhagat, Sandy, Vandana etc into the group… Ankush joined, Gaurav Marwaha joined, Meghna Jain came in… along with a few others and we had a brilliant team of people doing everything they could… This is the year when I got an award for winning the maximum number of prizes in an academic year too.. 18 prizes I won in various individual and team competitions in Delhi University that year… MY year of glory…

    Ankur did not host Aaghaz that year… I followed his footsteps and was responsible for managing the show for about 7 hours and with me was Virat Vikram Juneja… and both of us created a riot… I loved it… it was the kind of feeling that nothing else can even come closer too… NOTHING…

    Third year of college… Cultural Society at its best… The dance team from my college won almost every single competition that they participated in.. Gaurav Marwaha and Ankush were leading the pack here… Ankush focusing on the dance team, which needless to say, had some of the most brilliant dancers I have met till date…Gaurav worked his sweat out to get the sponserships and managed more than we expected… he did work too hard… and I managed the theatre part along with Meghana and a few others… Ankur, Patrick, Nimisha etc were our western music champions.. this is the time when our Rock Band Nakshatra also revived itself… Some ex students came back to play with us too… the green room below the stage in DAV always used to have something or the other happening…

    This is the year when Kapil Sharma who used to be a DAV student sometime also came back to college and taught me and other most of what I know and remember today about Theater and stage… Getting out of home at 0700 hrs and coming back at 1700 hrs.. even later.. and spending most our time reading scripts, discussing plays, acts and learning and talking was a life well lived… I both smile and cry at times for those times… I still remember the song from Chupke Chupke we used to sing… the one with Amitabh and Dharmendra… we used to rock !!!

    Aaghaz again was my baby this year with me on the stage for about 6 hours and with Virat again… A repeat of the last year… Laughter, comedy, fun and the feeling of being on the top of the world… the only difference being that this year we did the show in Army Auditorium, Dhaula Kuan… what an evening it was… bad throat by the end of the day but smiles that would not stop for days to come.. because every time you entered college you would have some eyes who would recognise you… some people would even come up to you and tell you how good you were….Even Ashish bhai, our canteen wala guy said to me one day… Arre tu to wohi hai na Stage wala !!! I just smiled and said haan woi hoon…. ЁЯША

    The making of posters, the winning and loosing competitions, the bunking classes, the professors refusing to even know you at the end of the year when you requested for attendance, the understanding and the misunderstandings, the certificates, the sitting on stage stairs and singing or talking or just being, walking up to the srinivas puri market to have tea and keep sitting on the stools there for hours, Out of the Gate, across the Road down the street was our favorite spot… during the festivals, the entire cultural society dancing together in jam sessions… I don’t really remember seasons changing for some reason… every day of the year was as bright and sunny as we thought it should be or wanted it to be…

    I moved out of college… thankfullly was in Delhi itself… Jamia Millia Islamia… and not too far away from DAV… though the classes were many, but I still used to go to DAV at times… meeting people in person was the only way to keep in touch.. that is when we did not really rely on Text messages and Mobile Phones or emails to keep in touch… so a typical routine used to be… I would finish my classes in Jamia, rush to DAV, find someone in the green room… talk for a while or wait for classes to finish and then come back home together…

    For some reason the team back in DAV did not find anyone to host the show, and they asked me to do it… I was not sure if I could because I was already out of college but they insisted and I agreed… I wanted Virat to do it with me again, but he was not ready… after a lot of begging and requesting he agreed… and Prashant and Virat did it again in FICCI this time… third year in a row I was there… could not have loved it more… my professors who used to look so serious all around the year laughing off their seats, the people who i did not know responding to every line that i said on the stage… it was a dream… a dream i lived… my then principle Bhatia Sir, who had taught me mathematics in the second and third year also came upto me and said, Inko tujhse achcha koi aur nai milega ЁЯЩВ

    By the end of next year, things settled down… I was now looking at how am I going to earn a living… Nimisha was busy with her studies, Meghna wanted to do her post grad in NID, Virat started assisting his dad and his work in Faridabad, everyone from the dance team got busy somewhere or the other, Ankur was already doing his LLB… We all moved and Time too….

    Its like I lived a life in those few years and lfe that no more there…. but I know that something has not died inside me… its still there… Thank you God Uncle for letting me live and not just exist !!! You are the best !!!

  • I Make Time!!!

    Its been a nice weekend this one… I am at Anil’s place and having food which is home food… Chawal dal dahi !!! its nice… and Soumitro invited us (Well a forced invitation it was) and treated us to some amazing roasted potatoes, bell peppers, some nice music followed by Naan, Spicey Potatoes, Lovely Baingan, and Egg Curry !!! I am stuff like anything right now, and a 30 minute walk in the nice cold weather was just worth it after a nice tummy and heart filling dinner… God Bless Soumitro and his wife who did a great job with the dinner !!!

    While walking towards Soumitro’s place, Anil and me got into an interesting discussion, well all the discussions were interesting but I particularly remember this one because I have been hearing something around it for a while now from a few people I know…

    Anil said that he wants to play cricket or be associated with any club/team that places and get an opportunity to bowl or bat or just be there on the field sometime… My question, and a very prompt one, bringing him back from that lush green field that he had mentally wandered to was, “Do You have time for all that?”

    His simple answer was, “I would make time for it.”

    I was forced to think when we say we have been too busy or we just did not make time for what we wanted to or we just did not want to make time or we did not find a reason why we could make time…

    I somehow don’t really believe when someone tells me that they could not take time out.. I guess its not about taking time out, its either making it or stealing it from the world for things that are yours…

    I make time for my blog and my stills… and a few people who are in my thoughts, ma pa a few friends…
    I am fortunate to know a few friends who work for at least 12 hours a day in and out, and still make time for things they want, people they want…
    People find me crazy, and will probably think that I am simple plain lucky when I tell them that starting september’05, I have traveled out of Delhi every single month, the fototrip links on my page show that just right… Except March’07 when I shifted bases to Chandigarh for work… EVERY OTHER month I could find time to travel and take pictures… and I am bloddy well proud of it for myself !!!

    And I know of a lot of people who love to say that they did not get time or a chance to do something…

    I feel that its not really about how much time we got, its about how much WE wanted time for it… Wanting or not wanting to do something comes first, and then time for it or excuses for “not it”.

  • Happy Marriage Anniversary !

    Happy Marriage Anniversary Mummy…

    Happy Marriage Anniversary Papa…

    It was such a joy to hear papa laugh when I called home a couple of minutes ago to wish them !!!

    I know for sure they must have become very sad after I kept the phone down… I can feel it here ЁЯЩБ

    I love you two… more than ANYTHING else in this world… May God be with us !!!

  • feel it say it… hear it cherish it…

    It feels so bloddy nice when I get to hear nice things about myself !!! God bless those who feel good about me and make it a point to say them too !!!

    One of my dear friends did and I feel too bad that I did not really know how to react to it ЁЯЩВ but I know i felt real good…

    Looks like I am not that bad afterall ЁЯШЙ

    That brings me to a question : How good are you with taking compliments?

  • the interface to emotions

    No software is complete without a decent interface… I know of so many applications that failed miserably because the users did not see the interface that would have helped them get the feeling of what the application was capable of…┬а
    As people, as consumers the interface is very important for all of us…┬а
    I remember in one of the workshops I had attended a few years back, we talked about how every interaction that we have with any one is like a transaction… where someone is the customer and the other one is a provider… and that did make sense to me then and it does make sense to me today as well…┬а
    Ok, coming back to the initial point… the interface.. so in every transaction I feel that an interface plays and important role…┬а
    So does how and what we express… our emotions, our mind, our heart is the application running at the background and our expression of those emotions and thoughts is the interface…┬а
    having emotions, having feelings, having thoughts is a complete waste if we don’t express…┬а
    a lot of times our eyes speak…┬а
    a lot of times our actions speak…
    and at times we do…
    and if nothing of the above happens, I think we only increase distances… which at times become so large that it becomes impossible to bridge them.. no matter how hard we try !!!
  • Let the HEAD be where it should be…

    We have a total of X minutes with us to live, out of which we all would like to give Y minutes to work… which is very very important because
    work gives us money,
    work helps us sustain the standard of living that we like to live or to reach closer to the one we might want to, and
    a lot of other reasons like
    work helps us reach closer to that stage where we reach a certain level of maturity and see things in the right perspective most of the time, or that
    work helps us unwind…

    we all have different reasons to work and spend those Y minutes…

    and in and for those Y minutes,
    ~ We plan everything just right or would atleast like to strategize it right, after all our companies earn money if we do things right…
    ~ We ensure that we have a certain level to meet everytime we do something… we cannot mess up, can we? we would be thrown out of work or someone else who can do things better would get this profile or the next one we are aiming for…
    ~ We give it our heart and soul to ensure that everyone who is looking at our work or is getting effected leaves with a good impression of our effort…
    ~ We look forward to things happening and reaching next levels at work, in maturity, in hierarchy, in composure, in sense and all that…
    ~ even if cannot handle it anymore, we live those Y minutes and manage somehow… so what we have to skip our lunches, and we don’t have time to even drink water the entire day… work comes first…
    ~ Even if getting up is the last thing we want to do, we do and log on to the conference call in the middle of the night…
    ~ So what there is a backache, we still manage to get up and get going…

    and then there is a X-Y amount of minutes, which we label as personal life…
    ~ We tend to ignore the planning part
    ~ We can do a lousy job of it because there are no standards to meet, there is no competition, there is no annual appraisal after all… there is no one who will throw us out.. and even if things get bad, we assume that we can take care of that, WHeN THE BLODDY TIME COMES… as of now we don’t have time to deal with it…
    ~ We are too tired to give our heart or soul to it… and have no option but to defer things that might be important… oh com’on there is that important meeting at work… I think about that or this issue?
    ~ We look forward to things, but have that amazing capability of keeping them at the back seat or tuck them away under the blankets because there is a business suit that is waiting for us that moment…
    ~ We get angry with our loved ones !!! why the fkk can’t she understand that I have a headache !!! God, I had such a hard day at work, and he has to pick up this topic right now !!!
    ~ Ignore ourselves… Let me just take a painkiller right now for the backache… will see if I can see the doctor over the weekend.. and that weekend never comes because we were too lazy to get up on the only day we get an off…

    What are we trying to do? Could I please know it one more time? I lost myself somewhere back there !

    I realised that I did not even hear my thoughts because I was listening to music a li’il too loud… I don’t even know what I have written up here…
    but let me tell you these sony headphones(MDR G42) I got are worth dying for… amazing bass I get in them… nicey nice…

    and its too funny trying to rub your own back and put some balm on it… How come the hands don’t reach exactly that place where the pain is? anyway… I shall try putting some balm again and sleep before this backache kills me and stops me from getting up in the morning…

    And here is All Star singing…

    Well the years start coming and they don’t stop coming
    Back to the rules and I hit the ground running
    Didn’t make sense not to live for fun
    Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

    p.s. The picture was taken on a recent visit to the British Museum in London.. amazing place

  • Addition to the menu…

    Its no big deal…

    all it takes is some

    ~Fresh grounded black Pepper
    ~Salt
    ~Butter like spread
    ~Chilly flakes
    ~ Basil and oragano
    ~ Chilly tomato sauce
    ~ sandwich pickle with veggie peices in it..
    ~ tomatoes
    ~ bell peppers ( I like yellow and red ones) and finally
    ~ bread( preferably the brown bread, but for this week, white one will do)

    and you got a not too bad lunch pack with two different types of sandwiches ready…

    And it tasted pretty neat too, because of the fact that I made it or I made it for the first time or whatever… it was nice ЁЯЩВ

    this means, The рдЪрд╛рдп рдХреА рджреБрдХрд╛рди would now, also be able to serve freshly prepared sandwiches while you are sipping your favorite cup of tea…

    Enjoy ЁЯЩВ

  • рдХреБрдЫ рдРрд╕рд╛ рдХрд░рдиреЗ рдХрд╛ dil рдХрд░реЗ

    dil рдХрд╛ рдЕрд░рдорд╛рди рдХреЗ рдЦреБрд▓реА рд╣рд╡рд╛ рд╣реЛ …

    рдФрд░ рдЙрд╕реЗ рд╕рд╛рдВрд╕ рдореЗ рднрд░ рд▓реЗрдиреЗ рдХрд╛ dil рдХрд░реЗ

    рдЖрдЦреЛрдВ рдХреЗ рдЖрдЧреЗ рди рдЬрд╝рдореАрди рд╣реЛ рди рдЖрд╕реНрдорд╛рди …

    рдФрд░ рдЪрд▓рддреЗ рдЪрд▓реЗ рдЬрд╛рдиреЗ рдХрд╛ dil рдХрд░реЗ

    рдКрдкрд░ рджреЗрдЦреВрдВ рддреЛ рдХреБрдЫ рддрд╛рд░реЗ рдореБрдЭрд╕реЗ рдмрд╛рдд рдХрд░рдиреЗ рдХреЗ рд▓рд┐рдП рдиреАрдЪреЗ рд╣реЛ рдЬрд╛рдПрдБ …

    рдФрд░ рдореЗрд░рд╛ sirf рдЙрдирдХреЛ niharne рдХрд╛ dil рдХрд░реЗ …

    рдХрд╣реАрдВ рджреВрд░ рдкрд╣рд╛рдбрд╝ рдХреЗ рдкреАрдЫреЗ рд╕реЗ рдмрд╛рдВрд╕реБрд░реА рдХреА рдЖрд╡рд╛рдЬрд╝ рдЖрдпреЗ …

    рдФрд░ рдореЗрд░рд╛ рднреА рдХреБрдЫ рдЧрд╛рдиреЗ рдЧреБрдирдЧреБрдирд╛рдиреЗ рдХрд╛ dil рдХрд░реЗ …

    рдХрд╣реАрдВ рджреВрд░ рдПрдХ рдЭрд░рдиреЗ рд╕реЗ рдкрд╛рдиреА рдХреЗ рдЧрд┐рд░рдиреЗ рдХреА рдЖрд╡рд╛рдЬрд╝ рдЖ рд░рд╣реА рд╣реЛ …

    рдФрд░ рдЙрд╕ рдЖрд╡рд╛рдЬрд╝ рдореЗ рдЦреЛ рдЬрд╛рдиреЗ рдХрд╛ dil рдХрд░реЗ …

    рдПрдХреН рд░реЗрд▓рдЧрд╛рдбреА рдХреА рд╕реАрдЯреА рд╕рдиреНрдирд╛рдЯреЗ рдХреЛ рдЪреАрд░рддреЗ рд╣реБрдП рдореЗрд░реЗ рдХрд╛рдиреЛ рддрдХ рдкрд╣реБрдВрдЪреЗ …

    рдФрд░ рдлрд┐рд░ рд╡рд╛рдкрд╕ рдШрд░ рдЬрд╛рдиреЗ рдХреЗ dil рдХрд░реЗ …

    +++++++++++++++++++++++++

    Dil ka armaan ke khuli hawa ko…

    aur Saans lene ka dil kare

    aakhon ke aage na zameen ho na aasman…

    aur chalte chale jaane ka dil kare

    upar dekhoon to kuch taare mujhse baat karne ke liye neeche ho jayen…

    aur mera sirf unko niharne ka dil kare…

    Kahin door pahad ke peeche se baansuri ki aawaz aaye…

    aur mera bhi kuch gaane gungunane ka dil kare…

    kaheen door jharne se paani ke girne ki aawaz aa rahi ho…

    aur us aawaz mein kho jaane ka dil kare…

    ek railgaadi ki seeti sannate ko cheerte hue mere kaano tak pahunche…

    aur phir wapas ghar jaane ke dil kare…