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if i had to ever choose between fame and money.. i would give away all the money.. ok.. lets be practical.. a large portion of that money… to take the fame…

i realise that lots of money is not on the list of things i want for myself… just enough to keep myself content and not feel that i am missing out on things important to me should be good enough… i am happy that my expectations from life are not sky high.. they are where i can reach for them… with an effort ofcourse.. but i will…and i will….

i want respect for what i am… i will take scoldings for what i did not do.. only if they are combined with the words which tell me whatever li’il i have done…

i give love and comfort to people i like… and i want to be the best listener they can get… and i do not want anyone to try and be a part of my life unless i want to…

i am selfish and i think about myself before i think about anyone else… i am weak still that i cannot say no to a lot of people coz i think they will be hurt… i do not like it…

at the end of my day i do not want to speak.. i just want to sit on my roof and see the sky… dark… with a few stars… and breeze to kiss my body…

i sleep today looking forward to another beautiful morning… i lie down right now to get up to a new beginning…. i die today to be born again…. i loose today to win tomorrow… i cry today to know what smiles are worth… i smile today because i have cried yesterday…

i will stop for now… love you ma… love you pa… love you all the people i care for… i will make sure you are proud of me one day !!!

ok… diwali morning…

loads and loads of SMSs…most of them forwards… i feel that we have stopped having that personal touch to our wishes…
it has been reduced to just forwarded emails and forwarded test messages.. andthat occasional picture message…

i still remember the days when i used to spend a good time shortlisting cards for my friends and relatives… and then write their addresses… and then post them… i miss those days…

ok.. no sad talk for today… today is a good day and it should be celebrated with smiles…. and not thinking about things have changes over the last few years…

i have taken about 35 snaps in the last two days and hoping that atleast 10 of them come out the way i wanted…

am sitting in tushar’s room right now while he is having his lunch…
and i am writing away to glory on my blog…

there were a few more things that i was thinking of yesterday… have not been able to start any new book, thanks to some useless friends…
they have not given me any ideas so far… however Deepu called today and he gave me some thoughts.. lets see if i can make something out it…
tushar expects me to start reading some toughies… i cannot do that… i have to read something that i associate myself with…
something which is closer to the world that i have known !!!

chetan bhagat has written something which is of that sort and that let me read the two books he has written.. dunno of any other authors… i think i will read “The Inscrutable Americans” by Anurag Mathur.. i will take it from Tushar today…

chatted with a doc yesterday evening.. it was nice… she is a doctor.. and working with a pathlab… and is off to a small vacation today… i wish i could have used these 4 days to travel… its rare that i get four official offs…

anyway…
i will stop now… gotta finish the fanta tushar just gave me… and i have to go buy a shirt too.. white one.. nice one…

and i want to go for a look makeover.. i want to change my hairstyle..
and i want to keep a li’il bit of beard… sounds weird.. does it..

well thats me…

oh… and after i wrote this post.. i could not upload it.. so i went to the market with Tussar.. and bought a shirt for myself… finally i am the proud owner of a white shirt… abhi i will wear it 🙂

so diwali means new clothes for me too this year 🙂

really do not have much to write today..

just that there is a long small vacation ahead of me.. long because its rare that you get 4 days off work officially…
and short because i am sure these 4 days are going to fly by like deadlines do… hehe.. actually one of these 4 is already kinda over…

last week was exciting… office was hectic but was good.. i might just get a chance to be responsible of a tool rollout across india which means.. a lot of preperation at my side… training material, training plans, look at the infra needed.. prepare checklists… and loads more… and hey… i am not complaining.. i am looking forward to it…

this also means that things are going to be tough till 31-Jan-06

another achievement for the last week…

two books
names: Five Point Someone and One Night @ the Call Centre
one author
name : Chetan Bhagat
one reader
reader’s a name : Prashant Bhardwaj
total time to finish the books: not more then 10 hours across the whole week..

this is really an achievement for someone who has not read many books.. i just do not like it.. but this time it was different coz the books were simple and interesting.. tushar wants me to read something more complicated and break away from the mind block of not being able to understand books.. i am not sure if that is going to happen… i still want to read things which are simple.. and do not want me to understand them… anyway lets see…

i did not have time to think a lot this week other then work.. however a few things are there on my mind and i might just write about them wheni think about them a li’il more…

~) what was the girl who got raped a few days back doing at a bus stop on Vikas Marg at 0300 hrs… and why did she take a lift from a cab which had 3 guys in it? not to say that the bastards who did what they did is right.. but is anyone other then them also responsible for this kinda act?

~) a few weeks back i was thinking that i like being alone.. and this feeling is getting stronger and stronger… i do not really like when my cell ohone rings when i want to be with me… for 3 days lagataar i am going to the T-SHOP and i usually do not have much to talk about.. i just want to rest in peace…

~) gaurav, my fotography guru saw my fotos and was kinda happy about what i am doing these days.. but he still is not too keen to see too much in my fotos.. he wants me to have an eye for detail which i guess i am developing slowly…

~) i want to read something like i did last week.. but unfortunately i do not have anything to read… i do not want to read something which is too much of fiction.. rather have something which is kinda real and simple.. and i can associate with..

~) i want to do something worthwhile in the next 3 days.. cleaning up the mess in my room tops the list… if i can do it or not is something that i come to find out only tmrw evening.. coz that is when i will know if i have done it or not…

~) i am sad about the blasts that happened today in delhi… everyone suddenly has the opportunity to point a finger at the administration and the police without realising that we as people are more responsible for not being able to identify the unidentified objects leading to these blasts… police cannot check the bags of the thousands of ppl who walk into the markets everyday.. but we can always keep our eyes open and stay alert… i think i you we should be acting more responsibly then starting to blame the entire police dept and the politicians for what they do not do… politicians in india do not do anything in any case… except displaying their grief on any unfortunate incident and offering some lacs to the relatives of the dead… would request anyone who is reading this to be more alert and act responsible for himself as well as everyone around them…

~) aro called me as soon as he knew of the blasts and wanted to know if i was alright… love u man !!!

~) i might read some Sherlock Holmes tonight.. lets see…

too many words again… i feel at times that i need to limit the amount that i write in every post.. but then it does not happen…

whatever…

have a good weekend everyone… and be safe… and keep ppl around you safe too…

someday

i will

~ own a company…
~ complete reading my 100th book…
~ complete writing my first book…
~ come back from my foreign trip…
~ sit in an aeroplane for the first time…
~ take a joy ride in a boat in the ocean…
~ swim in the ocean…
~ make a sand castle on the sea beach…
~ do bungee jumping…
~ take some firangies for a trip around delhi…
~ drive a BMW truck…
~ drive to kanyakumari from Delhi and back…
~ go to rishikesh or rajasthan all alone…
~ be a RJ…
~ be a stand up comedian…

~ shake hands with John Travolta, Elton John, Steve Tylor etc etc…
~ take cameron diaz for a hott date…
~ play basketball as good as Kobe Brian…
~ host a talk show like Oprah…
~ do a level 4 rafting expedition…
~ go to valley of flowers when its in its full bloom…
~ make 10 snowmen.. and take their pictures…
~ go to some echo point and shout at the top of my voice…
~ kick some of supervisors very very very hard…
~ make my mom and dad cry out of happiness…
~ buy a digital SLR…
~ buy a largest possible television… plasma screen…
~ have a biiiig couch to lay down on.. and watch the TV which is fixed on my ceiling…
~ click 1000 fotos in one day.. and have all of them appreciated…
~ join the secret services…
~ kill a few people…
~ be called a hott hunk of a guy…
~ not get emotional about the things that i have earned after slogging my ass off…
~ share myself completely with someone…
~ be one of the most patient guys anyone can ever talk to…
~ be as choosy as i can get…
~ wear white shirt with a blue jeans and my favorite shoes…
~ someday i will learn how to smile all the time…

~ someday i will add more things to the list…

oh… i just read somewhere…. ” i am in love with a word which never promised joy…“

well… dunno how true is that.. coz my someday is giving me a lot of joy right now… however i know for sure… that someday a few things would happen which would give me a lot of pain… but then.. what the heck… lemme be happy with the somedays which are sure to bring joy 🙂

cheers everyone !!!

he was watching her for quite a while… a few weeks infact… and he thought he liked her.. and the thought of introducing himself to her gave him goosebumps… all the butterflies in his stomach just got up…just the kinda excitement he had when he asked the first ever girl out in his college…

but then.. he had to either keep quiet.. and keep feeling what he felt.. or take that step, larger then the one man took when he landed on the moon, and talk to her…

“hi, i am manish…”
“hi”

“well… i have been noticing you for quite a few days now, and thought of just introducing myself to you…”
“ok” *so*

“so… how are you…”
” i am fine…” *what a way to start a day*

“i am fine too… ” *thanks for not asking :(*
” good…”

“umm… i was wondering if you would have sometime to have coffee with me… in the office…”
” well.. i usually am very busy… but i will think about it… maybe sometime… bye…”

“bye..” *have a nice day… phew*
* oh shit… i did not ask her name… so much for being nervous… anyway.. maybe sometime…*

Kanika had written sometime back that you should not hate people… and i agreed…

but then what to do when you know that these people have been playing around with your lives and have managed to screw it up a good bit thanks to them being your supervisors in office…
what do you do when you know that even though they are not a part of your reporting chain anymore, they continue to be around you…
how do you accept their presence when you know that they are the people who have actually thought of nicely and made sure that you do not get what you deserve !!!

shame to such supervisors…

God give me the strength to handle such people who deserve nothing less then hatred…
and the strength to continue with working and trying hard to reach where i should..
God be with me.. coz i need you…

I had been thinking of the rafting trip for a while.. in this season.. and the credit to give some fire to this thought goes to my tusaar bhai… and we made a plan quickly…

i talked to a few ppl in the office.. and the idea was nicely welcomed with a few people really keen to join the trip.. so everything was set after long discussions on when to go, how to go, where to stay and all that… we finally decided to hire a cab (with a VCD player) and leave delhi on saturday night… well.. late night..

had already talked to an operator called Pradeep in rishikesh who had made the arrangements there for the rafting from Marine Drive to Rishikesh.. i had been on three trips so far all of them from Shivpuri to Rishikesh.. i had heard that there are few nice rapids between Marine Drive and Shivpuri and this thought excited me enough to plan for the rafting to start from Marine Drive…

so.. instead of the scheduled 2230 hours…. i was picked up at 2300 hours.. and then after picking up Pooja and Renu from Pooja’s place we moved ahead to Rishikesh… a few people in the group had never been to Rishikesh so that excitement was obvious.. we also saw Ring on the LCD screen.. and also a few scenes from Munna Bhai… while the rear seat fellows were cribbing about no one talking, the volume being too high.. and so on…

we managed to a reach Haridwar very early around 0400 hours.. and while a good percentage of people wanted to sleep and not come out of the cab into the cold breeze outside.. i was very keen to just get out of there.. and walk around.. so i did.. and the rest of them followed… @ 0400 Har Ki Paudi wears a different look.. there still were a lot of people around.. the water flow to that part was reduced for some cleaning and so on… we roamed around the place for about 30 minutes before moving on towards Rishikesh…

0500 hours.. rishikesh… cold breeze… sleepy people… what was the best that could have happened… 🙂 a toyota qualis parked near Laxman Jhoola.. and the passengers sleeping inside… we slept till 0600 and then i got bored.. and i got out of the car… and after sometime.. managed to get the rest of the gang out too…

the cold air was too much to handle in the morning…

we decided to park the car near Ram Jhoola for the rest of the day.. and kill time there itself till the operator comes in.. and we can start rafting…

in the parking lot at Ram Jhula

a small walk from the parking lot to the banks of the Ganga…

on the other side of the Ram Jhula… you can see it in the background..

and a good hour or so spent there. in the company of some great weather… beautiful breeze.. early morning warm sun…and loads of fun…

they were trying to climb up this rock.. got all wet.. and it was loads of fun…

we went to the operator around 0930 hours where we found out that Amiad who was from Israel was also joining us… and reached Marine Drive in another 45 minutes.. and were kinda stunned looking at the amount of people there… when we reached.. there were atleast 15 rafts… multiply the number by 8 and this many people were there on the banks…

so we waited till we could start rafting.. and there we go.. around 1200 hours… reeeeeeealy cold water… and a new part of the river.. another exciting trip starts here… i was happy…

all set for rafting…top row: sunoj, tushar, me, renu, Amiad… sitting: shubhika, pooja, aditya

lots of rapids were on the way.. good morning, three blind mice, roller coster, return to centre, golf course, peacock, hilton etc…. can’t remember all the names right now..

we took two breaks actually three in this part of our journey.. one at shivpuri.. which was a quick breather.. then near Brahmpuri.. for lunch… and then near the jumping point…

While having lunch.. Tushar started talking to Amiad about Hinduism and the way of living.. that convo was too much for me to be a part of, on a rafting trip.. so i decided i wanted to get into the water.. keep myself wet so that i can jump in again…

all wet… just out of the raft…

after having lunch… just sun bathing 😉

i also tried to make a sand castle… tushar was kind enough to help me with a design which got washed off as soon as it was made.. and i managed to have a castle which looked more like a birthday cake with walls around it… and it got washed off too…

Pooja lost one of the slippers here.. and she had to be without them till we reached our cab… and renu was thrown into water twice by yours truly… why.. well she was trying to throw me in.. and i just took some watery… friendly revenge…

cut to the jumping point.. pooja was the first one to climb up.. and the last one to jump 🙂
i went up.. and was shit scared as soon as reached there… but then.. i jumped again… i know how tough it was the last time i had taken this plunge.. and this was it was equally scary.. but what the heck.. did it….

Amiad jumping from the cliff… and he knew exactly what he was doing…

aditya.. who is a champion swimmer… took a dive perfectly… 10 on 10.. and amiad.. was more then happy to jump the way he wanted into water… pooja jumped twice.. coz the first time her foto could not be clicked… shubhika and renu.. kept gathering some guts to jump. but could not do it… and tushar.. handled the camera during the entire episode…

another awesome experience coming to an end.. and then something which i will never forget happened…. while we were reaching Laxman Jhoola… there was this motorboat which was coming straight towards our raft… we saw it a good 100 metres in advance.. and were expecting the guy to turn it so that it passes by and not hit us.. but that son of a gun kept coming straight.. and we had a head-on with the motor boat when it was at atleast at 40 kmph….

the last that i remember was that the boat was a foot away from me.. and then i was in water… i also remember trying to come out of the water.. and someone pushing me down…. however i finally managed to have my head over water.. and what i saw was not too pleasent.. the motorboat was on the raft and was tilted dangerously while the people in that boat were only trying to get away from the raft and move out of there… everyone who was in the raft was out in the water but had managed to hold on the life-line… and stay close to the raft… i was the one who was the farthest from the raft.. as i had held on to my pedal.. and also had seen two more of them and grabbed them… so none of my hands were free.. and i could not swim.. i could just wait for the guys to come to me and pick me up from water… it was kinda scary.. but i was fine coz i knew that i am not going to drown… i was only afraid thinking that what if they are not able to pick me up before the next rapid… that is when i would have to just leave the pedals and swim my way out of the river somehow…

well that did not happen… i was pulled up well in time… and now the next rapid which was called hilton did not look like a challange to us at all.. we had experience something worse then that…
finally the raft touched our destination…. and we got out.. thanked Sunny who was our guide for the day for being so nice to us, and making the trip exiciting as it was… and moved on towads our cab…
changed clothes.. got fresh.. and moved on towards home… took a small break at the moolchand resorts around 4 kms from the start of the Muzzafarnagar bypass.. and 10 kms from Khatauli… nice food… and had a nice paan there…

was back home at 1230 hours… approx. 26 hours after i left home…

one hell of a trip coming to an end… and me already waiting for the time when i will go back to Marine Drive again.. no.. not marine drive.. i will start from Shivpuri only.. that makes more sense….

a few things to keep in mind when you go to rishikesh for rafting…

• its cheaper when you arrange for ur rafting after u reach there.. there are loads of operators who would be more then happy to take care of you there…
• always wear something that dries out fast while you are rafting.. otherwise you might just keep shivering…
• late march looks like the best time to raft as far as i am concerned… the water level was high when i went in june and this time.. and the rapids were not as exciting… however roller coster was one hell of a rapid…
• carry a camera… there is so much to look at there.. and capture in a cam…
• do try to make a sand castle.. i am going to do that the next time i go… i am sure i will make something better then was i made this time..
• have a pain killer, some bandage, and a couple of band-aids with you… you never know when you need it…
• carry some good sun screen lotion.. and use it properly before you start rafting…

enough… now get to the link.. and check out the fotos taken with Tushar’s cam…

enjoy… will upload the fotos i took from my camera sooon….

what a weekend it has been…
saturday afternoon spent in Purani Dilli, freaking out on whatever I could eat there… walking atleast 5 kms and riding the most happening underground railway… the Metro… and ofcourse buying the film rolls at a price which is good enough to surpise most of the film based cam users…

saturday night… quick packing for the trip… oh.. i went for a river rafting trip… another one of my 24+ hour no sleep all fun journeys…
i am going to write about the entire trip once i get the fotos… but what makes this one different are the following :
~ i was in a cab and not driving or in a bus…
~ first time i rafted from Marine Drive… the max so far… 27 kms…
~ first time i tried to make a sand castle… and it kept getting washed off…
~ first time i reached a situation, where it could have turned fatal… Thank God it did not… no no.. not on the road… in the middle of the river…
~ first time i saw a movie in a cab…
~ first time i was not handling the expenses myself… though it leaves a li’il discomfort behind coz i like to have total control…
~ first time i slept while sitting next to the driver ( i do not like it.. but i had not slept for over 40 hours….i really needed it)

came back monday very very early morning.. around 0030 hours.. slept for 6 hours.. and am back in the office…

waiting for the fotos to come…

burfi jaldi bhej foto…

i am also realising that i am getting to be more of a loner now… i enjoy my company more then anything else.. or being with anyone else… is this just a phase.. or this is going to stay… dunno.. time will tell…

what if…

ravana was there inside us.. and we had 10 heads… just trying to think out loud about the problems that we could have faced because of this awkward situation…

• extra money spent on cold creams, lip balms, lotions, hair creams, shampoo, soap, caps, shaving foam, bleach, make-up etc etc etc..
• going to a restaurant, we would not know which head to use and when…
• for a gal who has a boyfriend with ten heads, it would be so damn tough to figure out which one to kiss 😉 and what if all of them start kissing her at the same time.. what a mess.. ditto for a guy with a girlfriend with 10 heads…
• for a guy who has a wife with 10 heads, phew… can’t even think of the time when all of them start speaking at the same time… ditto for a gal who has a husband with 10 heads..
• it would be really costly to attend a show, or a concert, coz the charges usually are some hundred bucks per head…
• if girls take so long to get ready with one head… imagine how much time they will need with 10…

cannot really think of more right now… just enjoying thinking abot things that could have happened… hehehe…

hey.. there are few good things as well !!!

• you might just win all the debates….
• it would have been so damn easy to look into other’s papers during an exam…
• BPO industry would have been the happiest, one person.. and he could take 10 calls at one point of time…

bas…. aur nahin…