he was listening to his favorite songs…. songs that talked about love.. songs that talked about care.. that talked about care and feelings…
and he could not help but think of the times when he thought he was in love… it brought a smile to his face… and tears in his eyes.. coz he was hurt.. he had been loved and he had loved… but it all ended in pain…
and today, even though he knew being in love made life beautiful, he was not ready to fall in love again….
these fathers… uff…
i called up papa when he was still in school and asked him to get some Gulab Jamuns for me from Kaleva ( its a sweet shop in Gole Market CP)..
“yaar, wo mere liye bilkul ulta padega.. 3 km ka extra chakkar lagega…“
“papa, mereko nai pata.. aap bas lekar aao.” ( me like a 10 year old kid)
“theek hai.“
“theek hai weekh hai kuch nai. Aap kahin se bhi lao par lekar aao“
“theek hai dekhta hoon…“
and he disconnected the phone…
about an hour and a half later.. he came home… and had two bags in his hand.. i was like.. i had asked for just some Gulab Jamuns… kya le aaye…
and when i saw what was there in them… here is what they had
10 Gulab Jamuns… ek dum garma garam
10 Rajbhogs.. from my favorite Bengali Sweet Shop Sandesh…
& 10 Bengali Roshogullas… again from Sandesh…
now we are just three members at home… and mom does not eat a lot of sweets unlike me and papa… who are total sweet freaks…
we managed to have just 7 gulab jamuns… and the rest is there in the fridge… care for a party anyone?
love u dad 🙂
they met after a long time… how often does it happen that you meet one of your good friends just once or twice in 9 years… and that too just by chance..
finally after a few conversations they met… she was a fast driver.. and he could not catch up… so she waited for him to join her.. and then drive slowly not to loose sight again… all through this time.. they were talking on the phone…
a cafe, two old friends, lots to talk about….
she looked the same like in school… but she had changed.. she had a shell of her own.. and there was no one who could enter that… she did not like to answer any questions, she was not open to any sharing of thoughts and feelings with anyone, she did not want anyone to be bothered about whats happening in her life if they could not do anything about it… she did not need any long talks and conversations… she could just live on her own.. and enjoy and be happy…
and he was scared… it was tough to see someone just like him, sitting in front of him !!!
she was with her friends that afternoon… and her boyfriend was with her too.. but he did not know anyone from that group…
he was not sure if he would like being there or not… but she inisisted and he joined her…
she was talking to everyone around… and he was not.. he was quiet.. silent.. and just looking at her at times… careful enough not to make it obvious that he was not comfortable there…
and then… she silently without anyone knowing it… held his hand softly…
she was still talking… he was still silent… but everything had changed !!!
Outta there… yes… i felt kinda releived to be out of the team i was working in for the past one year… no.. i liked the work.. it was the manager… i read somewhere, that its not the companies that people leave.. its because of the supervisors that people tend to leave their current jobs.. and time and again this is proved right by the managers !!!
in the new profile that i am in.. i take care of the quality in a helpdesk.. not something that i really wanted to do as a part of my walk towards my career goals.. but it happened. and i think i can make a difference here…
i guess.. i will work here till i can… keep studying and researching about what i want to do.. and move out at the right time… God Bless me… this is going to be one difficult phase… not as difficult as working with the wrong boss… but still !!!
am walking……….
they got into an argument, about love and concern and care… his side was.. if someone cares for you, then it does not mean that (s)he necessarily loves you… concern and care does not translate into love all the time…. and then asked her… if she is so concerned about him.. does that mean.. she loves him?
silence….
and then a beautiful giggle from the other end…
he asked her.. why is she laughing…
she said… because she could not say no to the question he asked…
sweet…
Hmm… not sure if its interesting or not.. but here are a few things i know about myself.. got the idea of this post from one of the blogs i read.. i guess Arburn’s not really sure though.. it was sometime back.. but was thinking of writing whatever i can….
1 I love to eat chinese food
2 I am about 6 ft tall
3 I have a long nose
4 I have a huge number of people I know
5 I have fallen in Love.. Not once not twice but thrice 🙂
6 I love to drive
7 I love to travel
8 I would like to travel the entire india on a looong vacation
9 I cannot work with people who think they become better by stealing others’s credit
10 I love my parents
11 I want to have a pet, probably a dog.. Or maybe some fish
12 I would like to own a SUV someday… a BMW maybe who knows… or a JEEP
13 I used to like the brown colour a lot when I was in college
14 Blue was one of my favorite colours as well
15 I love RED color now
16 I have had many girlfriends, and I was not really in love with some of them…
17 I was very commited in all my relationships
18 I learnt my lessons in the last relationship I had
19 I am not seeing anyone as of today
20 I am not willing to fall in love as of today
21 I think love makes people think irrationally
22 I have met a few wonderful people in the last few months
23 I have realised that I would not be able to work for a company or a boss for long
24 I want to own a bookshop someday
25 I would to have a small camera shop as well
26 I want to see the ocean. ( Yeah I have not see it)
27 I love rafting
28 I do not like to drive fast
29 I would like to own a Bullet as well someday, a 500 cc bike maybe
30 I have a Nokia 6600 right now
31 I bought a Nokia 3310 with my first salary
32 I spend a lot of money on Petrol
33 I am very happy with the car that I bought; she stands out
34 I love getting appreciated, and getting the attention I deserve
35 I feel that there is a very thin line between pesterning someone, and being concerned
36 I have a good typing speed
37 I like to work on the IBM laptop that I have
38 I would want to move to a MAC someday, Gaurav’s G4 Notebook is really great
39 I love photography
40 I bought a Canon 3000v a few months back, it’s a film based SLR
41 My next camera would be a Digital SLR.
42 I do not like compact Digicams, they do not give me the kinda flexibility I long for
43 I have a 7000 watt music system, Sony, ofcourse at home.
44 I want to buy a DVD player as well, which might just be a Sony
45 I want to buy a Scanner next month
46 I want to go to Europe next year, no not on my honeymoon but alone.. Just like that
47 I want to see the Niagra Falls
48 I want to drive all the way from Kashmir to Kanya Kumari one day
49 I want to make my parents travel and see a lot of places
50 I do not think I can live my life with someone who is a snob
51 I can now figure out if I can talk to the person in front of me in about 15 minutes
52 I like to wear Kurtas
53 I am not comfortable in crowds
54 I am not comfortable in really fancy restaurants
55 I like to be at a place where I can let myself loose, and not care about what the rest of the world thinks
56 I do not like my families decisions to be taken because that is a routine in the society
57 I would like to get married to a simple and intelligent girl
58 I am not fashion concious
59 I am not careful about how I am looking either.
60 I have a lot of ego and anger inside myself
61 I do not forget people or directions easily
62 I am good with reading maps and directions
63 I do not like anyone to invade my space or independence
64 I like to be respected for what I am.
65 I am not comfortable with critism, unless it is mixed with some appreciation
66 I am a good team-person
67 I am not an expert on anything at all
68 I usually play safe in terms of decisions, I take less risks or take very calculated ones
69 I can be a good RJ
70 I can give good advice to people, can be a good consultant
71 I try hard to help ppl I care for and like to stay around when they need me
72 I get irritated when people do not act practically
73 I do not drink enough water
74 I loose my temper in front of my parents a li’il too often
75 I do not let the other people know about me a lot
76 I ask a lot of questions
77 I do not challenge authority, however I do not like being ordered
78 I am good with conversations
79 I like my relationships or affairs to be physically active too
80 I like the watch that I wear, it’s a casio Databank.
81 I do not look good on camera, though some of the photographs have come out well
82 I do not like my current boss at all
83 I do not have any idea about what companies do the kinda work that I want to do
84 I like soft pillows
85 I feel bad when people just talk to me for work and then very conviniently get lost
86 I believe in God
87 I like to go to the temples as well, but not really for religious reasons.. But to see the beauty of architecture and the sculptures
88 I like being in old forts
89 I learnt swimming, and I think I have lost it too…
90 I love being in the hills, just sit on the edge and keep watching the view in the front
91 I hate people who drive in high beams
92 Given I choice I would marry the girl I can respect more, then I love
93 I feel that I have not achieved a lot of things in my life which I could
94 I love watching comedy movies, and serious ones with some substance
95 I cannot handle hindi romantic movies… what a pain they are
96 I have learnt to control my anger a li’il
97 I am very restless by nature
98 If I sleep for long, I usually wake up tired
99 I love rains, though not the mess they create here in delhi
100 There are still about a million things, I have not been able to write here, and I do not know about myself….
I am not in a relationship these days.. i am not even seeing anyone for that matter… and this has given me some space and time to think about a lot of things…
SPACE is what i have been thinking about the most.. not being in a relationship has helped me a lot actually.. i could do whatever i wanted to do.. i could just live life on my own terms.. without really being questioned… i would walk at my own pace… i would not have to wait for my girlfriend on the bus stop or outside her house for those loooooong 10 minutes… i would not have to keep talking to her even though my mom was calling me inside the house… i would not have to change myself or my ways just because she is not comfortable with them !!!
well so much for happiness together… i am not saying that being in a relationship is always a pain.. but then there are two very very mature individuals who would be part of the relationship which does not end up in pain !!! and i did not have many opportunities to look at such relationships… no no.. lemme correct myself… i have seen some wonderful relationships… though all of them from outside.. i was not one of the partners in it…
what have i learnt… by being a part of a few relationships and by being just a spectator to the rest… is that we all need SPACE….. we all need to be respected for our individuality and that we want our partner to be a part of our lives without corroding that thin line that we draw inside us which has us as an individual on one side.. and a partner on the other… at times.. these two roles do not match.. or maybe initially they do.. but then with time.. we see that the individual that we were is getting away from the partner we are.. and then who can live away from themself… and we start feeling that strain in the relationship !!!
I could not give my ex-girl any space.. and i could not get any either.. and that made us break-up about and year and a half ago.. just hope that the people who think they are in love with each other… give each other a lot of space in the relationship and respect the individuality of their partner…
let ur partner do what they want to !!! and let them come back to you at the end of the day… let them spend their days they want to… and let them tell them how they spent it… let them face their lives themselves.. and let them come to you when they need to.. and give them a surprise by being there all the time.. never let them look around for you.. be there.. but not in the way of their lives !!!!
enough of gyan !!! phew… ab a long weekend in front of me again.. waiting for a long drive to meerut tommorow… and two weekoffs then.. lets see if i can complete the two books iwanted to read the last weekend 🙂 am one helluva lazy ass i tell u 🙂
Had not shaved for a week.. and wanted to see how it comes out in a photo !!!
and here i am.. thanks to a good friend.. and a great fotographer… Gaurav Srivastava !!!
I am home 🙁
if everything had worked out right i would have been driving to Kausani at this hour… and i think should have been somewhere near Bhimtal !!! but the plan failed…. ppl kept backing out.. for reasons which are valid !!! so no issues… actually there are… i really really wanted to go on this long drive… was thinking of it for a long time.. par kya karen !!!!
sometime later…. i am sad that a long weekend.. which is not too common is going waste…. but then on second thoughts.. i am thinking of doing a few things…
~ Read The Alchemist. and probably “The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari” as well !!!
~ Watch The Game, and Bourne Identity ( bought these movies long time back but could not watch )
~ spend the Independence Day in front of the TV.. Star One would show two of my favorite serials the entire day…. Khichdi and the Great Indian Laughter Challange…
~ and just rest !!!
lets see how it goes… abhi to… am ready to go to my Mama’s place.. about 60 odd kms away from home… in Bulandshahr…. the thought of driving on the NOIDA-Greater NOIDA Expressway is exciting… getting up at 0500 hours was a pain though…